"Do you have any happy endings?"

So, Astral Imperium And Other Stories is out, and available on Amazon.  It was a great relief to get that published, and now I can focus my energy on getting the memoir ready for print.  But, of course, my family is reading the collection and quoting the whole thing back to me on a daily basis at this point.  Which is... disturbing.  Not that I don't like my own work -- I think it's great and I'm certainly proud of it.  But sometimes you need to distance yourself from something you've worked so hard on, in order to regain perspective.

My mother asked me today why none of my stories had happy endings.  I'd honestly never thought about it, until now.  "Do any of your stories have happy endings?" she asked.

"Uh..." I was stumped.  I tried to run through the checklist in my head... "No... no... well, umm... not quite?  Then, umm... maybe?  Probably not though... And I guess not.  Hmm... definitely no, there... Oh man."  So it's a dark collection, even in its lighter moments.  But that was sort of the point, I feel -- getting the darkness out of my head and onto the page.  Writing involves at least a partial transmutation of the psyche, and I think I've definitely accomplished that with this collection.  It represents the period of darkness in which I wrote it.  All of this is entirely possible.  It's also possible that I am a sick, sick individual who will never ever write a story with a happy ending.

But why should endings need to be happy?  Life isn't happy, exactly.  We go through it drearily, for the most part, grasping at moments.  These moments could be perceived happiness, or they could be fairy tale certainties, but in general we stumble around in pursuit of them, while ignoring where our pursuits are actually leading us.  More often than not, the greatest things in life are the ones we stumble onto while pursuing something else.  And it takes guts to reach out and grab the thing before it leaves you, stumbling toward the next great thing you might miss.  The stories that I like the best, and the ones I like to write, mirror that pursuit, and amplify the flaws in the collective character of the human race.  That innate search for something powerful that distracts us from what's actually important.

If that sort of thing interests you, you just might enjoy the stories I've written -- the ones that apparently don't have happy endings.  That isn't true exactly... I think some of the endings, although they can't be called "happy" exactly, are possibly hopeful, or reflective, or maybe even refreshing.  But some of them are indeed -- simply not happy.

You can find a description of the book on the Find My Books tab of my website, and follow the "Buy It" button to purchase it on Amazon.  Or, follow the link on the sidebar of this blog.

And if you think one of the endings is actually more happy than not, please let me know, and I will throw it in my mother's face.  I'm kidding, I'd never do that (Yes I would, but she reads this blog so let's pretend).

Upcoming Story Collection

Hello all,

It's nice to see you again.  I wanted to provide a general update on my goings-on and keep everyone in the loop.  Very soon, I'll be publishing a science fiction short story collection that will be available on Amazon in print and ebook form, called Astral Imperium And Other Stories.  Right now, it's in the beta reader phase, and after a bit of polishing it should be ready to go.  My good friend Bobby Gore is doing the cover art, and I hear it looks fantastic.  Stories include homicidal robots, interstellar mysteries, unhinged space monks, conspiracy, temptation, revenge, and friends with awful intentions.  I personally recommend it, though others will do that too so you won't have to take my word for it, I promise.

The cancer memoir is in the pipeline as well, though I'll be saving that for a rainy day.  For now, I'm going to focus on science fiction.  Oh, and feeding myself (I've been told that's important).  Or, in other words, creating a viable living from wordsmithing.  But not to worry! -- I've written three books already, and I'm in peak form, weaving words together into coherent and entertaining thoughts daily and at a respectable rate.  In fact, I've been working very hard.  And I don't say that to sound impressive or brag.  I say it because I'm genuinely proud of myself, and happy that I've finally taken to something that doesn't make me want to leap from a skyscraper every day I leave the office.

Cancer has been very freeing in that regard.  I've been offered a fresh start from the universe.  And I haven't wasted any time grabbing it up (at least I don't think I have, you might have to ask my family and friends for the truth of it).  I've always been writing, only now the stakes are much higher.  There's this whole insurance thing I need to pay for in case of more cancer, or in case I decide to jump ten minivans on my tricked out scooter (I don't have a tricked out scooter, sadly).  I hope that my attitude toward pursuing my goals inspires you to do the same.  Because everyone should feel that way about their vocation.  It shouldn't ever be something that "pays the bills."  It should be do or die -- you do this because you can't imagine living without it.  There must be a sense of urgency.  Nothing else would cut it in the same way that writing does for me.  And it's not a chore to develop a work ethic around something you love.  It's easy for me to feel this way, because I was dying once.  And you tend to discover exactly what's important to you when you find out you might be dying.  Every day during my first month of immunotherapy in the hospital, I sat down and wrote around 1,500 words, even though I could barely stop shaking from the chills and a number of other horrible things.  And after a health crisis you respond to life very differently.  I deal with my most egregious sin, for instance, in a much better way than ever before.  I plan to talk about that in a later post (Sorry for the tease!).  And I've already discussed conquering fear and realizing your potential in a previous post.  If you haven't read that you can find it here: http://zenofmetastasis.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-domain-of-evil-it-is-in-you-must-go.html

Thanks for reading!  I'm very glad to have a fantastic support network to turn to when I need it.  This blog, and the readers who encourage me to continue to write it, are a large part of that.  I only hope I can offer in return what I've gotten from all of you.