Fifty Shades of Kevin: A Dramatic Reading

My friends and I have been renting a cabin at Cook Forest in Clarion for the past few summers.  We stay for a long weekend, and get into as much trouble as we possibly can.  The first year we went, I was undergoing immunotherapy treatment for stage 3 melanoma, and I was shocked at how much fun I had despite the side effects.  The fatigue and other symptoms were mostly forgotten, and for the most part I could keep up with the festivities.  This year, we were at it again.  It just so happened that this time around one of our friends brought along a copy of 50 Shades.  Since none of us have age-appropriate maturity levels, we couldn't help but to pass the book around for dramatic readings.  Mine starts off in Standard American i.e. Shakespeare, and quickly deteriorates into a bad Dustin Hoffman from Hook.  Watch my personal interpretation of a passage from the book below.